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The 'Torchum' Never Stops letra
Thing-fish:
Now, dis nasty sucker is de respondable party fo de en-whiffment o' de origumal potium. through de magik o' stage-kraff, we be able to see him at woik!
He now be preparin' some ugly shit to make yo' life even mo' mizzable den it awready are, since dis batch be resigned to render him immortal! we does not know if it gwine woik yet, but we kin always hope fo' de best!
Thing-fish: (singing)
Flies all green 'n buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
Prisoners grummle an' piss dey' clothes
'n scratch dey' matted hair
A tiny light fum a window-hole
A hunnit yards away
Is all dey ever gets t'know
'bouts de reg'luh life in de day
An' it stink so bad, de stones been chokin'
'n weepin' greenish drops
In de room where de giant fowah-puffer woikin',
'n de torchum never stops
De torchum never stops
De torchum,
De torchum,
De torchum never stops
(go on, 'dewlla! play dat lil' guitar one mo'gin!)
(spoken)
Uh-oh! i smells trubba! he be messin' wit pigmeat heahhh! muthafucker be rejectin' some co-log- nuh directly into de duo-deenum of de unsuspecting victim! now he gone see if he immune to it by eatin' a dab hisseff!
(singing)
Flies all green an' buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig
In a chamber, right near dere
He eat de snouts an' de trotters foist!
De loins an' de groins id soon re-spersed
His carvin' style id well re-hoist
He stan' 'n shout:
All main be coist!
All main be coist!
All main be coist!
All main be coist!
An' dis-ergree? well, no one durst...
He de best, of cose, of all de woist
Some wrong been done, he done it foist...
An' he stink so bad, his bones been chokin'
And weepin' greenish drops,
In de vat of galoot co-log-nuh,
Where de re-zease be berlin' up
Berlin' an' uh boilin' up
Co-log-nuh!
Co-log-nuh!
Galoot co-log-uh-nuh!
Thing-fish: (spoken)
Oh! do yoseff a favum 'n don't use it! oooooooh! look at these ugly suckers! boy, when white folks come back fum bein' dead, they sho' gets scary-lookin'! but don't take their appearance too seriously, people, 'cause dey say dis de sort o' folks dat belongs on broadway! the broadway zombies collect around the evil prince, who suddenly suspects the presence of an intruder. after taking a large bite from an onion he sings...
Evil prince: (singing)
Somewhere, over there, i can tell,
There's a voice of
A potato-headed whatchamacallit
Who does not wish me well!
His clothes are quite stupid,
And also his shoes!
He's got a big ol' duck-mouth!
(who knows how he chews!)
He thinks he knows something
About the great plan!
How ultimate blandness
Must rule and command
He knows not a drop,
Not a crumb,
Not a whit,
Of the reason for doing
This criminal shit
And then, if he did,
Would it matter a bit?
Not at all!
Because it is writ:
Our beige-blandish god
Tends to certify it:
"only the boring and bland shall survive!
Only the lamest of lameness will thrive!"
Take it or leave it, you won't be alive,
If you are overtly creative!
Fairies and faggots and queers are
'creative'
All the best music on broadway is
'native'
Who will step forward
And end all this trouble?
For beige-blandish citizens,
Clutching the rubble
Of vanishing dreams
Of wimpish amusement,
Replaced by a rash
Of 'creative' confusement!
Soon, my brave zombies,
You'll make your return!
Broadway will glow!
Broadway will burn!
(along with the remnants of
Everything new)
My holy disease will do
Wonders for you!
Those lovely producers
Who paid for you 'then'
Will do it again, and again, and again!
Evil prince: (singing to the zombies)
The spying potato
With horrible diction
Will rot in the garbage
When this show's eviction
Takes place shortly after
My alternate skill
Of theatrical sabotage
Triumphs your will!
I've a special review
I've been saving for years
For a show just like this,
With potatoes and queers
I'll say it's disgusting, atrocious, and dull
I'll say it makes boils inside of your skull
I'll say it's the worst-of-the-worst of the
Year,
No wind down the plain, and it's hard on your
Ear
I'll say it's the work of an infantile mind
I'll say that it's tasteless, and that you will
Find
A better excuse to spend money or time
At a tupper-ware party,
So, do be a smarty!
Hold on to that dollar
A little while longer
For spending it here,
Why, it couldn't be wronger!
What's happened to broadway?
Where's it gone, all the glitter?
The 'heart' and the 'soul'
The patter?
The pitter?
And after this deadly review hits the paper,
In will come roper, bender & raper,
To legally execute all that remains
Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
Thing-fish: (singing)
Flies all green an' buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
Who are all o' dem zombies
Dat he fuckin' wit down dere?
Are dey crazy?
Are dey sainted?
Are dey stage-kraff someone painted?
It have never been explained,
Since at first it were created,
But, a musical, like we's in,
Require a whole bunch o' everythin'!
We talkin' everythin' dat ever been!
Look at her!
Look at him!
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
Frank Zappa - Letras
- 200 Motels Fineale
- 200 Years Old
- 5050
- 9/8 Objects
- A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- A Game Of Cards
- A Little Green Rosetta
- A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- A Token Of My Extreme
- A Typical Sound Check
- Absolutely Free
- Advance Romance
- Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- Agency Man
- Ain't Got No Heart
- Alley Cat
- America Drinks
- America Drinks & Goes Home
- Amnesia Vivace
- Andy
- Any Downers?
- Any Kind Of Pain
- Any Way The Wind Blows
- Anything
- Apostrophe(')
- Approximate
- Are You Hung Up?
- Are You Upset?
- Artificial Rhonda
- At The Gas Station
- Babbette
- Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- Baby Snakes
- Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- Bacon Fat
- Baked-Bean Boogie
- Bamboozled By Love
- Be In My Video
- Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- Beauty Knows No Pain
- Big Leg Emma
- Big Swifty
- Billy The Mountain
- Black Napkins
- Bobby Brown
- Bobby Brown Goes Down
- Bow Tie Daddy
- Briefcase Boogie
- Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- Brown Moses
- Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- Bwana Dik
- Call Any Vegetable
- Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- Camarillo Brillo
- Can't Afford No Shoes
- Carol, You Fool
- Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- Catholic Girls
- Centerville
- Chana In De Bushwop
- Charles Ives
- Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- Charva
- Cheap Thrills
- Cheepnis
- Chocolate Halvah
- Chunga's Revenge
- Church Chat
- City Of Tiny Lites
- City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- Clowns On Velvet
- Cocaine Decisions
- Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- Cock-Suckers' Ball
- Concentration Moon
- Conehead
- Cops & Buns
- Cosmik Debris
- Crew Slut
- Cruising For Burgers
- Cucamonga
- Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- Dance Contest
- Dancin' Fool
- Debra Kadabra
- Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- Deseri
- Dew On The Newts We Got
- Dickie's Such An Asshole
- Didja Get Any Onya?
- Dinah Moe Humm
- Directly From My Heart To You
- Dirty Love
- Disco Boy
- Diseases Of The Band
- Do You Like My New Car?
- Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- Dog Breath
- Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- Dong Work For Yuda
- Doreen
- Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- Drafted Again
- Drop Dead
- Drowning Witch
- Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- Drums Are Too Noisy
- Duke Of Prunes
- Dumb All Over
- Dummy Up
- Easy Meat
- Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- Electric Aunt Jemima
- Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- Envelops The Bath Tub
- Epilogue
- Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- Excentrifugal Forz
- Father O'Blivion
- Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- Fifty-Fifty
- Find Her Finer
- Fine Girl
- Flakes
- Flambay
- Florentine Pogen
- Flower Punk
- For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- For The Young Sophisticate
- Fountain Of Love
- Frank Zappa
- Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- Fuck Yourself
- Galoot Up-Date
- Geneva Farewell
- German Lunch
- Get A Little
- Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- Goblin Girl
- God Bless America
- Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- Happy Together
- Harder Than Your Husband
- Harry & Rhonda
- Harry-As-A-Boy
- Harry, You're A Beast
- He Used To Cut The Grass
- He's So Gay
- Heavenly Bank Account
- Help, I'm a Rock
- Here Lies Love
- Holding The Group Back
- Holiday In Berlin
- Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- Hot Poop
- How Could I Be Such A Fool
- How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- I Ain't Got No Heart
- I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- I Come From Nowhere
- I Don't Even Care
- I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- I Have Been In You
- I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- I'm A Band Leader
- I'm A Beautiful Guy
- I'm Not Satisfied
- I'm So Cute
- I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- I'm Stealing The Towels
- I'm The Slime
- Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- If Only She Woulda
- If We'd All Been Living In California...
- In France
- Inca Roads
- Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- It Can't Happen Here
- It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- Janet's Big Dance Number
- JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- Jewish Princess
- Jezebel Boy
- Joe's Garage
- Johnny Darling
- Jones Crusher
- Jumbo Go Away
- Just One More Time
- Kaiser Rolls
- Kangaroos
- Keep It Greasey
- Keep It Greasy
- Kenny's Booger Story
- King Kong
- Later That Night
- Latex Solar Beef
- Lemme Take You To The Beach
- Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- Let's Move To Cleveland
- Library Card
- Like It Or Not
- Little Girl Of Mine
- Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- Little House I Used To Live In
- Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- Little Rubber Girl
- Little Umbrellas
- Lonely Little Girl
- Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- Lonesome Electric Turkey
- Lost In A Whirlpool
- Louie Louie
- Love Of My Life
- Love Story
- Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- Lumpy Gravy I
- Magdalena
- Magic Fingers
- Man With The Woman Head
- Mary Lou
- Massagio Galore
- Master Ringo
- Meow
- Moggio
- Mom & Dad
- Montana
- Montana (Whipping Floss)
- More Trouble Every Day
- Mother People
- Motherly Love
- Mount St. Mary's Concert Excerpt
- Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat
- Mr. Green Genes
- Ms. Pinky
- Mudd Club
- Mudd Club (in album Thing-Fish)
- Muffin Man
- Murder By Numbers
- My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- My Head?
- Mystery Roach
- Nanook Rubs It
- Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
- Nig Biz
- No No No
- No Not Now
- No Not Now (in album Thing-fish)
- No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve
- No, No Cherry
- Oh No
- Oh-Umm
- On The Bus
- Once Upon A Time
- Our Bizarre Relationship
- Outside Now
- Outside Now (in album Broadway The Hard Way)
- Packard Goose
- Panty Rap
- Peaches En Regalia
- Peaches III
- Penguin In Bondage
- Penis Dimension
- Pick Me, I'm Clean
- Planet Of My Dreams
- Planet Of The Baritone Women
- Plastic People
- Po-Jama People
- Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead
- Porn Wars
- Pound For A Brown
- Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask
- Progress?
- Prologue
- Promiscuous
- Proto-Minimalism
- Punky's Whips
- Pygmy Twylite
- Pygmy Twylyte
- Rat Tomago
- Redneck Eats
- Return Of The Hunch-Back Duke
- Rhymin' Man
- Ride My Face To Chicago
- Right There
- Ring Of Fire
- Road Ladies
- Ronnie Sings?
- Ronnie's Booger Story
- Room Service
- Rubber Shirt
- Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
- Run Home Slow: Main Title Theme
- Ruthie-Ruthie
- Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
- San Ber'dino
- Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
- Scrutinizer Extreme
- Scrutinizer Postlude
- Semi-Fraudulent...
- Semi-Fraudulent/Direct-From-Hollywood Overture
- Sex
- Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
- Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously?
- Sharleena
- She Painted Up Her Face
- Shove It Right In
- Sleep Dirt
- Sleeping In A Jar
- Smell My Beard
- Society Pages
- Sofa #2
- Soft-sell Conclusion
- Son Of Mr. Green Genes
- Son Of Orange County
- Son Of Suzy Creamcheese
- Spider Of Destiny
- St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- Status Back Baby
- Stevie's Spanking
- Stick It Out
- Stick Together
- Stink-Foot
- Stinkfoot
- Strictly Genteel (The Finale)
- Stuff Up The Cracks
- Suicide Chump
- Sweet Leilani
- Sy Borg
- Take Me Out To The Ball Game
- Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
- Tears Began To Fall
- Teen-Age Prostitute
- Teen-Age Wind
- Teenage Wind
- Telephone Conversation
- Tell Me You Love Me
- Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
- That Evil Prince
- The 'Torchum' Never Stops
- The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- The Air
- The Birth Of Captain Beefheart
- The Black Page
- The Blackouts
- The Blue Light
- The Booger Man
- The Central Scrutinizer
- The Closer You Are
- The Crab-Grass Baby
- The Dangerous Kitchen
- The Dead Girls Of London
- The Dick Kunc Story
- The Downtown Talent Scout
- The Duke of Prunes
- The Duke Regains His Chops
- The Evil Prince
- The Finale
- The Florida Airport Tape
- The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth
- The Girls Dream
- The Groupie Routine
- The Idiot Bastard Son
- The Illinois Enema Bandit
- The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
- The Jimmy Carl Black Philosophy Lesson
- The Lad Searches The Night For His Newts
- The Little House I Used To Live
- The Little March
- The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
- The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival
- The Mammy Nuns
- The Man From Utopia
- The Man From Utopia Meets Mary Lou
- The Massive Improve'lence
- The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing (in album Thing-Fish)
- The Motel Room
- The Mud Shark
- The Orange County Lumber Truck
- The Poodle Lecture
- The Radio Is Broken
- The Rejected Mexican Pope Leaves The Stage
- The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet
- The Sealed Tuna Bolero
- The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- The Torture Never Stops
- The Torture Never Stops (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- The Uncle Meat Variations
- The Untouchables
- The Voice Of Cheese
- The White Boy Troubles
- They Made Me Eat It
- This Ain't CNN
- This is Phaze III
- This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Prologue)
- This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Reprise)
- This Town Is Just A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Prologue)
- This Town Is Just A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Reprise)
- Tiger Roach
- Time Is Money
- Tink Walks Amok
- Tinsel-Town Rebellion
- Tinseltown Rebellion
- Tiny Sick Tears
- Titties 'N' Beer
- Titties & Beer
- Toads Of The Short Forest
- Trouble Every Day
- Trouble Every Day (in album Does Humor Belong In Music)
- Trouble Every Day (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- Truck Driver Divorce
- Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- Tuna Fish Bolero
- Tuna Fish Promenade
- Tush Tush Tush (A Token Of My Extreme)
- Uncle Bernie's Farm
- Uncle Remus
- Undaunted, The Band Plays On
- Underground Freak-Out Music
- Valarie
- Valley Girl
- Very Distraughtening
- Village Of The Sun
- Watermelon In Easter Hay
- We Are Not Alone
- We Can Shoot You
- We Gotta Get Into Something Real
- We're Turning Again
- Weasels Ripped My Flesh
- Welcome To The United States
- Wet T-Shirt Nite
- What Ever Happened To All The Fun In The World
- What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?
- What Kind Of Girl?
- What Will This Evening Bring Me This Morning?
- What's New In Baltimore?
- What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (Reprise)
- When The Lie's So Big
- Where Is Johnny Velvet?
- Where's Our Equipment?
- Whippin' Post
- Whippin' Post (in album Does Humor Belong In Music)
- White Ugliness
- Who Are The Brain Police?
- Who Needs The Peace Corps?
- Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- Why Don't You Like Me?
- Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?
- Wild Love
- Willie The Pimp
- Willie The Pimp (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- Wind Up Workin' In The Gas Station
- Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
- Wistful With A Fist-Full
- Won Ton On
- Wonderful Tattoo!
- Wonderful Wino
- Would You Go All The Way?
- Would You Like A Snack?
- Wowie Zowie
- Wplj
- Wplj (for Deuces)
- Ya Hozna
- Yo Cats
- Yo' Mama
- You Are What You Is
- You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
- You Call That Music?
- You Didn't Try To Call Me
- You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here
- Your Mouth
- Zomby Woof
- Zoot Allures
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